After many, many years on this earth, I’ve come to realize that there is a lesson in every encounter and every experience. When I was much younger, if something (or someone) bad happened to me, the first question I would ask, would be, “Why?” I would then wrack my brain trying to figure out what I possibly could have done to deserve it. It took a very long time to realize that many times, people and situations enter your life for several reasons – to make you stronger, to prepare you for something else, or to open your eyes to a situation that you may not even have been aware of. You can always learn from every situation and every person you encounter.
As those of you who have been following my autobiography know, there have been many experiences that I have gone through that have not been the best. I have done for some, only to find out at a later date, they had not been genuine and had an agenda all along. I have been friends to some with smiling faces, to find out they had ulterior motives. As hurtful as these situations may have been, my skin is much thicker now and I’ve learned to just move on with no regrets. You cannot control what’s in another person’s heart. That is the lesson that I learned about those situations.
I have always been relatively healthy, so, when my recent medical situation came about, I knew there was a reason I was going through the situation. Again, I wracked my brain, “God is trying to tell me something. What is it?” Many people told me that my body was trying to tell me to ‘slow down’. In a sense, I get that. But, I still knew there was something more. After weeks and weeks of well wishes, prayers, and even orders to “slow down”, I thought the lesson was to show me who the truly sincere people were in my life. That very well may have been one of the lessons, but, there was one that was even bigger.
My number one concern the first week I had to take off from work was, “Oh, my goodness – my poor boss. What is going to happen to him with the office closed for a week. He has a family to support! My stress increased more-so for his business than my health. The same thoughts ran through my mind regarding my landlord, when I realized I was going to be out of work for six weeks. “Oh, my goodness. What is he going to do if I can’t pay the rent? He has bills to pay.” My guilt grew each day because I was putting them in a financial bind. I felt even worse because they both had been so good to me and been extremely helpful and caring throughout my hospital stay. The more I thought about them, the less I concentrated on what I needed to be doing to get back on my feet.
Then, an epiphany!
Many people say how useless Facebook and Twitter are. In my case, the many messages, comments, private calls and emails in response to my posts, made me realize that I really needed to think of myself first. ( I tried to make it back to work and had a minor setback). My rent was late – I told my landlord, I’d pay him as soon as I could. My boss said he needed me at work – I told him, I needed to take care of my medical issue, first. Once I did, I was able to get so much more accomplished and reached the professionals I needed to, to assist me in making a full recovery. I’m not physically there, yet – but, things are looking up. I must admit, I still felt a little guilty, but, it felt great making myself a priority. I’m going to start working on making myself a priority much more in the future. LESSON LEARNED.