Archive | May 2012

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” 
Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels

 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.”
 Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.


I have received many responses to many of the posts on this blog, thus far. However, may I request that you please reply in the comment section of the blog  – as opposed to on Twitter, Facebook, emails, etc. – so that all responses will be together. Your comment may be helpful to others who come across something that they can relate to. You can comment anonymously.

Thank you and many blessings.


What’s on Your ‘Bucket List’?

I’ve done a lot in my life – personally and professionally, and I am always telling everyone to get out there and do what you want NOW and not to put things off.

I still haven’t seen the movie ‘The Bucket List’ but, for many reasons (many friends, family and family of friends were lost within the last few years; my recent health issues – which thankfully, are on the mend; and, the recent news of the student who tragically passed only days after her college graduation),  I starting wondering if there was anything left that I wanted to do.

I am a very low-maintenance person so, it’s the simple things that make me happy. There is something to be said for getting older, I am totally loving my life and the people I have chosen to surround myself with. I know who I am as a person and I am completely satisfied with all that I have done and all I have known. They say that once you have reached your goals, you have to set new ones for yourself. So, with that said, I decided to come up with a ‘list’ of things that I have yet to do but, want to do before…well…you know 🙂

Personal List: Go on a trip with my grandchildren, help my son with his company, spend some quality time with my sister. Buy something really, really, REALLY special for all of ’em. Surprise my best friends with something special, give more to charity, help others with their personal goals.

Professional List: Same as it has always been – work at something I love to do, regardless of the pay. My favorite jobs have been the ones with the lowest pay (or even NO pay Egads! lol). And, money has never been the key to my happiness. Some of my happiest times were when I was “broke, broke”. I would also love to help others with their professional aspirations.

Fun List: Finish my autobiography, take a course in photography, learn to play the saxophone or piano, learn a foreign language, learn the Samba, work or attend the ‘Oscars’ (I might be able to cross this off since I attended the Oscars red carpet this year) , go to Paris, fly overseas to go to a concert…and dare I say, run a marathon??? hmmm….I’m not sure about that one, but it would be a challenge. I’ve already done skydiving and scuba diving so, I can’t think of anything else in the ‘things I thought I’d never do’ category; perhaps, I should start off with running a mile…or around the block 🙂

People I want to meet: Most of the people I’ve ever wanted to meet, I have met. The main two, who were on my list that I never met, were Michael Jackson and Sammy Davis Jr. Although I’ve had a brush with the following three people, I think I would like to have a conversation with Oprah Winfrey, Ellen Degeneres and George Clooney because they seem to be genuine, caring and giving people and I’d like to discuss their humanitarian efforts, among other things..and, I can’t forget Hugh Jackson and Carol Burnett! 🙂

What is on your bucket list?

I have received many responses to many of the posts on this blog, thus far. However, may I request that you please reply in the comment section of the blog  – as opposed to on Twitter, Facebook, emails, etc. – so that all responses will be together. Your comment may be helpful to others who come across something that they can relate to. You can comment anonymously.

Thank you and many blessings.

A Time for Love

It’s that time of year when many couples embark on a new life together. Traditionally, May and June have been the most popular months for weddings.

Some choose to ‘pop the question’ in an intimate setting, alone with their intended, with a simple, “Will You Marry Me”. Others find more original ways to let their loved one know of their desire to spend the rest of their life together with them.

Below is a video, which I’m sure you have seen already, since, at the time of this post,  it has been viewed on YouTube over 5 million times. Whether it’s your cup of tea or not, you have to admit, it is fun and touching to see someone put on such a creative production to show their love.

(Update: check out the video that one reader added in the comments section below)

Here is another one of my favorite proposals that I saw last year:

It warms my heart to see couples who are in love. Sending much love to all of those who will take that leap and embark on life of love and happiness together, regardless of how you choose to do it.

If you know of any great proposals, please share below.  (BTW, there is a video I saw a few years ago of a man who led his girlfriend through several rooms in a hotel, with each room containing something or someone special. I cannot remember the specifics, but, it was awesome. If anyone comes across this video, please let me know. Thank you).

I have received many responses to many of the posts on this blog, thus far. However, may I request that you please reply in the comment section of the blog  – as opposed to on Twitter, Facebook, emails, etc. – so that all responses will be together. Your comment may be helpful to others who come across something that they can relate to. You can comment anonymously.

Thank you and many blessings.

Courage and Determination

If you’ve ever watched a personal video on YouTube, you more than likely have seen negative comments directed towards the person who has uploaded the video – or, even towards others who leave comments. Some of the things stated may, in fact, have absolutely nothing to do with the actual content of the video, and may even steer off into personal attacks, for the mere sake of doing so. Everyone has an opinion and everyone has a right to express their opinion. Over and above that, what point does initiating an attack on someone on the internet serve – especially, if the person you are attacking has no control over what you are attacking them for?

It takes little energy or thought to attack someone over the internet, however, with the safety of distance and anonymity, many choose to do so. However, how would you feel if a complete stranger took the time out of their day to upload a video to specifically make a personal attack on you?

Bullying is a serious situation in every part of the world and too often, some cannot handle the pressure; we have all seen the devastating toll it has taken on too many individuals. It doesn’t take much intellect or courage to attack others – especially, those who cannot defend themselves; however, it does take courage to ignore the negativity of others and move on, without the need for retribution.

Check out the touching video below and see how Lizzie Velasquez, a 23-year-old young woman, handled being bullied for her appearance due to an undiagnosed syndrome that she has had since childbirth. It is truly a remarkable testament to how far someone can go when they don’t let the negative comments of others hold them back.

I have received many responses to many of the posts on this blog, thus far. However, may I request that you please reply in the comment section of the blog  – as opposed to on Twitter, Facebook or emails – so, that all responses will be together. Your comment may be helpful to others who come across something that they can relate to. You can comment anonymously.

Thank you and many blessings.

For more of Lizzie’s inspirational videos, check out her official YouTube page:

Lizzie’s website

High School Student Overcomes Hunger and Homelessness to Graduate

By Bernard Watson


Frederick Dukes may be a teenager, but he is wise beyond his years.

“A lot of people talk about doing things, but you can’t talk about it. You can’t think about it. You can only just go and do it,” said Dukes, a senior at Washington Senior Academy.

For the last two years Dukes has been homeless and often hungry.

“I’m still a high school student. Even though I am dealing with the hardships of adults, I am still a young man and teenager at the moment in time,” Dukes said.

When Duke’s stepmom moved back to North Carolina, he decided to stay in Atlanta.

He said that meant living the life of a nomad.

Friends and later faculty have helped, but it hasn’t always been enough.

“My lowest moment over the last two years was this Christmas break when it was cold and I didn’t have anywhere to stay,” said Dukes.

Despite all the hardships, Dukes will graduate from one of the top schools in the state.

“I knew if I didn’t stay on myself, nobody would. If I didn’t care, nobody else would care. If I didn’t help myself, nobody else would help me,” said Dukes.

“It’s pretty amazing when students go back and reflect and pretty much talk about who inspires them, but students like Frederick Dukes inspire me,” said Tiauna Crooms, the principal of Washington Senior Academy.

“Your environment is not what makes you. Who you are is what you do and the decisions you make is what makes you who you are,” Dukes said.

Copyright 2012 WGCL-TV (Meredith Corporation). All rights reserved.

source (and video):