Envy is Not Pretty


en·vy

noun
1. a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another’s advantages, success, possessions, etc.
2. an object of envious feeling: Her intelligence made her the envy of her classmates.
3. Obsolete . ill will.
verb (used with object)
4. to regard with envy; be envious of: He envies her the position she has achieved in her profession.

 

I never could grasp the concept of envy. To be upset at a person or wish bad things on someone because of  a positive experience or happy occurrence in their life, baffles me. What is even more unfathomable to me is how sometimes the envy comes from friends and/or family. Why? I mean, seriously…I really and truly want to know why. The definition and quotes within this post, give a generalized reason for it – however, I want to know the ‘personal’ reasons. If you have been envious of someone or been the one that was envied, I hope you will leave a reply.  (On the blog please  – not on Twitter, Facebook or emails – so, that all responses will be together. You can comment anonymously.

“Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own.”  ~Harold G. Coffin

Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind. ~Buddha

Envy comes from people’s ignorance of, or lack of belief in, their own gifts.  ~Jean Vanier

Don’t waste time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. ~Mary Schmidt

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had. ~Erica Jong
Jealousy is the fear of comparison.  ~Max Frisch

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I have received many responses to many of the posts on this blog, thus far. However, may I request that you please reply in the comment section of the blog  – as opposed to on Twitter, Facebook or emails – so, that all responses will be together. Your comment may be helpful to others who come across something that they can relate to. You can comment anonymously.

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2 thoughts on “Envy is Not Pretty

  1. First of all, there were people who were envious of me when I was young because where I grew up, they thought my family could provide me with things they didn’t have. I didn’t think about it much then, but I realized it after I was much older because of some remarks made by people I knew pretty well who stunned me because they STILL didn’t realize that they were mistaken! As an adult, either the envy toward me doesn’t exist or I just haven’t paid attention to it. NOW, as for my envying others, I may have used the word, but in the context of your definitions, I don’t think it’s really that. It’s never been that I wasn’t glad they were successful or had more or whatever. That’s because I truly believe that if there was something I wanted badly enough, I could do it too. There ARE things that I’ve wanted and not had, but I never resented others having it. There are things I’d like to do and haven’t done, but if others do it and tell me about it, that’s cool. I sure don’t mind that they did. I guess I’m still being a bit more general that you want here, but I can’t think of a way to be more specific. I think the reason it appears that the envy comes from friends and family is that oftentimes, theirs is difficult for them to hide.

    • Your response isn’t to general at all. In fact, I can relate to everything you stated. Many years ago, an adult said to me, “You had everything as a child! Anything you wanted, you got!” This person was talking about material possessions, but, they failed to realize, that I felt sad a lot during my childhood, because that’s ALL I had – which is one of the main reasons why I never really cared much about material possessions as an adult. After they made that statement, my first thought was, “Wow! They’ve felt like this since childhood?” And, I finally realized why they did some of the things they did ti me over the years.

      As an adult, a lot of times I would try to suppress any good news I had about myself, so others wouldn’t get upset. That was until I realized how ridiculous it was and that I shouldn’t be holding back my happiness due to how others decided to react to the news.

      I agree with your following statement 100% – “I truly believe that if there was something I wanted badly enough, I could do it too. There ARE things that I’ve wanted and not had, but I never resented others having it. There are things I’d like to do and haven’t done, but if others do it and tell me about it, that’s cool. I sure don’t mind that they did.” I’m just trying to get an understanding of the ‘negative feelings towards another’ or even worse, ‘negative actions’ for doing something you can’t or having something you don’t. Thank you so much for your response.

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