Tag Archive | do for others

20 Things to Start Doing in Your Relationships


I’ve seen the list below several times before and agree 100% with each step. As I was searching on the internet for photos to add, I came across the article below. I love the way Marc broke it down, so I am sharing. PLEASE do the same….

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POST WRITTEN BY: MARC

Family isn’t always blood.  They’re the people in your life who appreciate having you in theirs – the ones who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways, and who not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be.  These people – your real family – are the ones who truly matter.

Here are twenty tips to help you find and foster these special relationships.

  1. Free yourself from negative people. – Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and like-minded.  Relationships should help you, not hurt you.  Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be.  Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.  Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  When you free yourself from negative people, you free yourself to be YOU – and being YOU is the only way to truly live. Read Stumbling on Happiness.
  2. Let go of those who are already gone. – The sad truth is that there are some people who will only be there for you as long as you have something they need.  When you no longer serve a purpose to them, they will leave.  The good news is, if you tough it out, you’ll eventually weed these people out of your life and be left with some great people you can count on.  We rarely lose friends and lovers, we just gradually figure out who our real ones are.  So when people walk away from you, let them go.   Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you.  It doesn’t mean they are bad people; it just means that their part in your story is over.
  3. 3Give people you don’t know a fair chance. – When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story.  Everyone has gone through something that has changed them, and forced them to grow.  Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.  We meet no ordinary people in our lives.  If you give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer.  So appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work.  Trust your judgment.  Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory.  Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone who might just change your life forever.
  4. Show everyone kindness and respect. – Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.  There are no boundaries or classes that define a group of people who deserve to be respected.  Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother.  People will notice your kindness.
  5. Accept people just the way they are. – In most cases it’s impossible to change them anyway, and it’s rude to try.  So save yourself from needless stress.  Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example.
  6. Encourage others and cheer for them. – Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places.  So be happy for those who are making progress.  Cheer for their victories.  Be thankful for their blessings, openly.  What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.
  7. Be your imperfectly perfect self. – In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self.  And when they laugh at you for being different, laugh back at them for being the same.  Spend more time with those who make you smile and less time with those who you feel pressured to impress.  Be your imperfectly perfect self around them.  We are not perfect for everyone, we are only perfect for those select few people who really take the time to get to know us and love us for who we really are.  And to those select few, being our imperfectly perfect self is what they love about us.
  8. Forgive people and move forward. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the remedy.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened.  It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.  Remember, the less time you spend hating the people who hurt you, the more time you’ll have to love the people who love you.
  9. Do little things every day for others. – Sometimes those little things occupy the biggest part of their hearts.  You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people.  Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty.
  10. Pay attention to who your real friends are. – As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.  Remember, life is kind of like a party.  You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some laugh with you, some laugh at you, and some show up really late.  But in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you clean up the mess.  And most of the time, they aren’t even the ones who made the mess.  These people are your real friends in life.  They are the ones who matter most.
  11. Always be loyal. – True love and real friendship aren’t about being inseparable. These relationships are about two people being true to each other even when they are separated.  When it comes to relationships, remaining faithful is never an option, but a priority.  Loyalty is everything.
  12. Stay in better touch with people who matter to you. – In human relationships distance is not measured in miles, but in affection.  Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles apart.  So don’t ignore someone you care about, because lack of concern hurts more than angry words.  Stay in touch with those who matter to you.  Not because it’s convenient, but because they’re worth the extra effort.  Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.  Paying attention to these people is a priority.
  13. Keep your promises and tell the truth. – If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT!  If you say you’re going to be somewhere, BE THERE!  If you say you feel something, MEAN IT!  If you can’t, won’t, and don’t, then DON’T LIE.  It’s always better to tell people the truth up front. Don’t play games with people’s heads and hearts.  Don’t tell half-truths and expect people to trust you when the full truth comes out; half-truths are no better than lies.  Remember, love and friendship don’t hurt.  Lying, cheating and screwing with people’s feelings and emotions hurts.  Never mess with someone’s feelings just because you’re unsure of yours.  Always be open and honest.
  14. Give what you want to receive. – Don’t expect what you are not willing to give.  Start practicing the golden rule.  If you want love, give love.  If you want friends, be friendly.  If you want money, provide value.  It works.  It really is this simple.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
  15. Say what you mean and mean what you say. – Give the people in your life the information they need, rather than expecting them to know the unknowable.  Information is the grease that keeps the engine of communication functioning.  Start communicating clearly.  Don’t try to read other people’s minds, and don’t make other people try to read yours.  Most problems, big and small, within a family, friendship, or business relationship, start with bad communication.
  16. Allow others to make their own decisions. – Do not judge others by your own past.  They are living a different life than you are.  What might be good for one person may not be good for another.  What might be bad for one person might change another person’s life for the better.  Allow people to make their own mistakes and their own decisions.
  17. 17Talk a little less, and listen more. – Less advice is often the best advice.  People don’t need lots of advice, they need a listening ear and some positive reinforcement.  What they want to know is often already somewhere inside of them.  They just need time to think, be and breathe, and continue to explore the undirected journeys that will eventually help them find their direction.
  18. Leave petty arguments alone. – Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right.  There are many roads to what’s right.  And most of the time it just doesn’t matter that much.  Read How To Win Friends and Influence People.
  19. Ignore unconstructive, hurtful commentary. – No one has the right to judge you.  They might have heard your stories, but they didn’t feel what you were going through.  No matter what you do, there will always be someone who thinks differently.  So concentrate on doing what you know in your heart is right.  What most people think and say about you isn’t all that important.  What is important is how you feel about yourself.
  20. Pay attention to your relationship with yourself. – One of the most painful things in life is losing yourself in the process of loving others too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  When was the last time someone told you that they loved you just the way you are, and that what you think and how you feel matters?  When was the last time someone told you that you did a good job, or took you someplace, simply because they know you feel happy when you’re there?  When was the last time that ‘someone’ was YOU?

source: http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/01/29/20-things-to-start-doing-in-your-relationships/#more-410

have received many responses to many of the posts on this blog, thus far. However, may I request that you please reply in the comment section of the blog  – as opposed to on Twitter, Facebook, emails, etc. – so that all responses will be together. Your comment may be helpful to others who come across something that they can relate to. You can comment anonymously.

Thank you and many blessings.

How to Have a Great 2013!


WELCOME 2013I am reposting the 7 steps which I posted at the end of last year. As I stated then, each year gets better and I truly believe it’s because I follow these steps. No one is perfect – and no one should expect to be perfect, or expect that from anyone else, but, I feel we should always strive to be the best we can be. I know those that did follow the steps this past year, noticed a positive difference in their lives. If you’re just seeing this for the first time, here is what I posted:

Everyone is different, however, based on what I have lived through and the observations I have made of others, I have put together a general “How to enjoy life” list. Some things on the list may be harder for some than others to do, but, I know that the more you work them into your life, you will notice the more enjoyment you will get out of life.

#1 BE GRATEFUL
They are in no particular order, but #1 – without a doubt – is to acknowledge and be thankful for everything that you have been blessed with. I have noticed over the years that so many people have so much, and they either take it for granted or are completely oblivious to how much they truly have. Instead of being thankful for what they do have, they complain about what they do not have. One of my favorite quotes is “What if you woke up with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?” Think about that for a moment and then remember to always give thanks for what you have in your life.
#2 LIVE YOUR LIFE – NOT OTHERS
Focus on YOUR life and pay less attention to what others are doing. I’ve heard and seen it too many times; someone will see what another has, does or is, and either comment on how the other person should change (by what they should wear, who they should be with, etc.) or how they wish they could have, do, or be like them…or, even worse, wish bad things on the other person. Stop comparing your life to others. The grass is not always greener. The very same person you are admiring, envious of or wishing you could be like, most likely has their own issues they are going through, as well.
#3 ENJOY LIFE NOW
Don’t put off anything while you wait for the “right time”. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. If there is something you want to do – do it now! Although I have done much in my life, I missed out on so much more in my earlier years because I either thought the time wasn’t right, I was waiting to do it with others, or for a number of other reasons. Once I realized that the best time to do anything is NOW and that I could have just as good of a time doing things by myself as I could with others, I started having amazing experiences and meeting amazing people. When an opportunity pops up, I jump on it – whether I do it with others or by myself. No one wants to look back at their life and say to themselves, “I wish I ____, but, I never did.”

#4 DO FOR OTHERS
Instead of waiting for others to do for you, do what you can for others. It doesn’t necessarily have to take any of your time or money. A simple smile or “Have a great day” may be enough to change someone’s mood or brighten their day. It is the most rewarding feeling to give joy and happiness to others; and, you’ll notice that the more of yourself that you give, the more you will want to give, and it will become as natural as breathing. If you know of someone who is in need of a helping hand and you are in the position to help with your time or money, then do so. Realize that if you were in the same situation, you would want someone to do the same for you.
#5 LIFE PRIORITIES
Focus more on what really matters in life – not the things which are considered by many to be the ‘symbols of a successful life’. Yes – it’s great to have certain material items; we all like nice things, but, don’t make that be the focus or the goal of your life, or expect ‘things’ to bring you happiness.  Happiness comes from within. There is so much in life to experience and enjoy and I’m positive that there are many people who have a lot of material possessions who are just as unfulfilled as those with much, much less. I’m sure you have heard the expression, “More money, more problems” lol….Also, ask yourself – and be honest – “If no one knew I had this, would I really care if I had it or not?” or, “Am I doing this for myself, or to impress others?” In the end, people matter, things don’t. I love beautiful things just as much as the next person, but, I’ve seen what some have done to attain them, how they’ve acted once they had them and how others have treated them because they had them. At times, I’ve wished we were all on ‘equal ground’ so that more people would realize the beauty of life without “things”.
#6 NEGATIVITY OUT, POSITIVITY IN
Get rid of negative people, things and thoughts. Surround yourself with only those people who bring out the best in you. Don’t let anyone change you or take away your joy. If you find yourself constantly upset, sad or stressed, make a serious effort to remove what puts you in that state. A life without drama is a life filled with peace. It puts a crack in my heart and it’s like a punch to the gut whenever I see someone unhappy. Many times they sabotage their own happiness because of a self-fulfilling prophesy (I’ll never be happy) or low self-esteem due to the negative influences in their life.  If this is you, see #1 – 5  🙂
#7 TRUST GOD
Over the years, there have been many ups and downs. At the time, the downs seemed like something I wouldn’t get over (lost opportunities, lost jobs, lost/fake friends, etc.). I began to notice that those “lost” things led me down a path to even better things.

I’m not sure when I came to the epiphany that if I just let God guide me and stop worrying, everything would always work out, but it has been 100% how I have lived my life for the entire 2011 and I think this has been the best year yet. It has been a year of peace, love and so much happiness. Things that I would have seen as an obstacle years ago, I now see as just a minor ‘speed bump” on the road of life and I keep on moving. I wish the same for everyone else in 2012 and the many, many years ahead.

If you chose to follow all, one or none of the above at least do one thing for yourself – strive to be a better person each year than you were the year before.

Peace and Love to all…and HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Silawn

WELCOME 2013

How to Have a Great 2012…and Beyond!


2011 was an amazing year. And, each year gets better. It’s a cliché, but there is much to the saying, “The older I get, the wiser I get.” I laugh these days about the things that I thought were such major concerns when I was in my teens, twenties and thirties. Who knew it really wasn’t as hard as everyone kept saying it was? Yes – we ALL go through ups and downs and we always will; but, it is easier to get through life and be happy than one might think.

Everyone is different, however, based on what I have lived through and the observations I have made of others, I have put together a general “How to enjoy life” list. Some things on the list may be harder for some than others to do, but, I know that the more you work them into your life, you will notice the more enjoyment you will get out of life.

#1 BE GRATEFUL
They are in no particular order, but #1 – without a doubt – is to acknowledge and be thankful for everything that you have been blessed with. I have noticed over the years that so many people have so much, and they either take it for granted or are completely oblivious to how much they truly have. Instead of being thankful for what they do have, they complain about what they do not have. One of my favorite quotes is “What if you woke up with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?” Think about that for a moment and then remember to always give thanks for what you have in your life.
#2 LIVE YOUR LIFE – NOT OTHERS
Focus on YOUR life and pay less attention to what others are doing. I’ve heard and seen it too many times; someone will see what another has, does or is, and either comment on how the other person should change (by what they should wear, who they should be with, etc.) or how they wish they could have, do, or be like them…or, even worse, wish bad things on the other person. Stop comparing your life to others. The grass is not always greener. The very same person you are admiring, envious of or wishing you could be like, most likely has their own issues they are going through, as well.
#3 ENJOY LIFE NOW
Don’t put off anything while you wait for the “right time”. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. If there is something you want to do – do it now! Although I have done much in my life, I missed out on so much more in my earlier years because I either thought the time wasn’t right, I was waiting to do it with others, or for a number of other reasons. Once I realized that the best time to do anything is NOW and that I could have just as good of a time doing things by myself as I could with others, I started having amazing experiences and meeting amazing people. When an opportunity pops up, I jump on it – whether I do it with others or by myself. No one wants to look back at their life and say to themselves, “I wish I ____, but, I never did.”

#4 DO FOR OTHERS
Instead of waiting for others to do for you, do what you can for others. It doesn’t necessarily have to take any of your time or money. A simple smile or “Have a great day” may be enough to change someone’s mood or brighten their day. It is the most rewarding feeling to give joy and happiness to others; and, you’ll notice that the more of yourself that you give, the more you will want to give, and it will become as natural as breathing. If you know of someone who is in need of a helping hand and you are in the position to help with your time or money, then do so. Realize that if you were in the same situation, you would want someone to do the same for you.
#5 LIFE PRIORITIES
Focus more on what really matters in life – not the things which are considered by many to be the ‘symbols of a successful life’. Yes – it’s great to have certain material items; we all like nice things, but, don’t make that be the focus or the goal of your life, or expect ‘things’ to bring you happiness.  Happiness comes from within. There is so much in life to experience and enjoy and I’m positive that there are many people who have a lot of material possessions who are just as unfulfilled as those with much, much less. I’m sure you have heard the expression, “More money, more problems” lol….Also, ask yourself – and be honest – “If no one knew I had this, would I really care if I had it or not?” or, “Am I doing this for myself, or to impress others?” In the end, people matter, things don’t. I love beautiful things just as much as the next person, but, I’ve seen what some have done to attain them, how they’ve acted once they had them and how others have treated them because they had them. At times, I’ve wished we were all on ‘equal ground’ so that more people would realize the beauty of life without “things”.
#6 NEGATIVITY OUT, POSITIVITY IN
Get rid of negative people, things and thoughts. Surround yourself with only those people who bring out the best in you. Don’t let anyone change you or take away your joy. If you find yourself constantly upset, sad or stressed, make a serious effort to remove what puts you in that state. A life without drama is a life filled with peace. It puts a crack in my heart and it’s like a punch to the gut whenever I see someone unhappy. Many times they sabotage their own happiness because of a self-fulfilling prophesy (I’ll never be happy) or low self-esteem due to the negative influences in their life.  If this is you, see #1 – 5  🙂
#7 TRUST GOD
Over the years, there have been many ups and downs. At the time, the downs seemed like something I wouldn’t get over (lost opportunities, lost jobs, lost/fake friends, etc.). I began to notice that those “lost” things led me down a path to even better things.

I’m not sure when I came to the epiphany that if I just let God guide me and stop worrying, everything would always work out, but it has been 100% how I have lived my life for the entire 2011 and I think this has been the best year yet. It has been a year of peace, love and so much happiness. Things that I would have seen as an obstacle years ago, I now see as just a minor ‘speed bump” on the road of life and I keep on moving. I wish the same for everyone else in 2012 and the many, many years ahead.

If you chose to follow all, one or none of the above at least do one thing for yourself – strive to be a better person each year than you were the year before.

Peace and Love to all…and HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Silawn