Tag Archive | live your life

Life is Precious


don't delayWith Easter approaching, I was reminded of an anniversary which I wish didn’t exist. The entry below is a blog I posted three years ago on Facebook. I am reposting it, due to the message I want to convey to the reader.

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(Originally posted Saturday, April 10, 2010 at 8:09pm)

This is a very sad day as someone who has been a part of my life for 25 years is laid to rest. Ever since I got the news on Tuesday morning, my emotions have been all over the place.

Approximately 25 years ago, I worked as an Audio/Video Technician with a man who over the years would become one of my closest friends in life. We would bicker (jokingly) all the time over who was the best editor, camera person, etc. and our bickering just drew us closer together. As his friend, he invited me to many of his family functions. As such, his family sort of ‘adopted’ me. I have spent countless holidays with them– Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Easter. You name it, I was there as part of their family. They always had a running joke that if I was coming, they’d have to prepare twice as much food. Once, my friend said, “Mommy said if you’re coming to Thanksgiving dinner, she’s going to have to pick up an extra turkey.” LOL I always offered to help in the kitchen or clean up and was told many times, “Relax and do what you do best…eat!”

Tuesday morning on my way to work, I got the news from my ‘play’ brother that his sister had a heart attack on her way to work the day before. (He had tried several times to reach me, but my phone didn’t ring and I didn’t see that he had called until the morning.) I kept shouting, “No!” into the phone and had to stop in my tracks and stand up against a building before I passed out.

When you first hear news like this, you cannot believe it is true, especially, when as far as you know the person is healthy. We talked for a short while as he explained in detail how it happened, how they got word and everyone’s reaction.

When I told my boss, he said I could take the day off if I needed to. I would have had to close the office for the day and didn’t want to leave him stranded like that and thought I could make it through. Then at approximately, 11am, I lost it. I sobbed uncontrollably as the times we had spent together flashed across my mind. It lasted for about 15 minutes straight, then I was fine again…for a while.

One of my favorite memories was when my ‘play’ brother and ‘play’ sister came to my Dreamgirls party. Not only did she attend, when I was concerned that although I was having the party catered that I might not have enough food for the entire night, she prepared extra dishes…a lot of extra dishes…brought the pyro and did the set-up of everything. I had ordered more than enough food, but the fact that she did that for me and didn’t ask for anything, really touched my heart.

Me and 'V' at my Dreamgirls birthday party. One of my favorite memories

One of my favorite memories – Me and ‘V’, at my Dreamgirls birthday party.

'V' on the dance floor. I will miss her smile and laughter

‘V’ on the dance floor. I will miss her smile and laughter.

During this past week, not only have I revisited that night and many others with her and her family, I could not shake the fact that I will never see that smile again or hear her laughter. It’s difficult. I cannot even imagine what the entire family is going through. They had just all been together on Easter, not knowing it would be their last holiday together. It made me think of my life and wonder if I was to go ‘just like that’, have I done everything that I wanted to.

When I was younger, late teens… early twenties, I thought I knew exactly how my life was going to play out. When I had to adapt to situations that were out of my control and take detours, I starting realizing that nothing can ever really be planned. You can have a basic outline, goals, aspirations, and do your best to fulfill your expectations; but, you also have to live your life as if it was your last day. “One day, I’ll do this…”Next year, I’ll do that”….’One day’ and ‘next year’ may never come. The next year is not guaranteed to anyone.

So many people put their hopes and dreams on hold waiting for a ‘better time’. I stopped living my life like that many years ago. In earlier years, I had let so many opportunities pass me by because ‘the time wasn’t right’. Well, if I kept waiting for the time to be right, I would never have had so many wonderful opportunities open up for me and would not have had so many wonderful experiences in my life. Yes, sometimes I’ve made ridiculous choices and things didn’t quite work out as planned. but, we all make bad choices, at times. I have to say though, that my worst decisions have been when I went against my ‘instinct’ and listened to those who thought they knew better.

Many people value a successful life in dollars. I never have and I have been able to accomplish so much without it. My purpose in life is to be ‘happy’ and to spread that happiness to others. I recall saying this to someone once and they thought it was the stupidest thing they ever heard. Everyone has to live their life the way they see fit for them. I choose to keep positive people in my circle. That is a start. How can you live a happy life if you have negative people or things around you? The next part is on me. When it’s my time, I know that I have done everything that I ever wanted to do, I’ve done it to the best of my ability, I didn’t wait for the ‘right time’ and I shared whatever I could with whoever I could. My life has been a success – ups and downs included – and I wish that everyone would truly appreciate what they have and go for what they want. Life is precious.

I have received many responses to many of the posts on this blog, thus far. However, may I request that you please reply in the comment section of the blog  – as opposed to on Twitter, Facebook, emails, etc. – so that all responses will be together. Your comment may be helpful to others who come across something that they can relate to. You can comment anonymously.

Thank you and many blessings.

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How to Have a Great 2013!


WELCOME 2013I am reposting the 7 steps which I posted at the end of last year. As I stated then, each year gets better and I truly believe it’s because I follow these steps. No one is perfect – and no one should expect to be perfect, or expect that from anyone else, but, I feel we should always strive to be the best we can be. I know those that did follow the steps this past year, noticed a positive difference in their lives. If you’re just seeing this for the first time, here is what I posted:

Everyone is different, however, based on what I have lived through and the observations I have made of others, I have put together a general “How to enjoy life” list. Some things on the list may be harder for some than others to do, but, I know that the more you work them into your life, you will notice the more enjoyment you will get out of life.

#1 BE GRATEFUL
They are in no particular order, but #1 – without a doubt – is to acknowledge and be thankful for everything that you have been blessed with. I have noticed over the years that so many people have so much, and they either take it for granted or are completely oblivious to how much they truly have. Instead of being thankful for what they do have, they complain about what they do not have. One of my favorite quotes is “What if you woke up with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?” Think about that for a moment and then remember to always give thanks for what you have in your life.
#2 LIVE YOUR LIFE – NOT OTHERS
Focus on YOUR life and pay less attention to what others are doing. I’ve heard and seen it too many times; someone will see what another has, does or is, and either comment on how the other person should change (by what they should wear, who they should be with, etc.) or how they wish they could have, do, or be like them…or, even worse, wish bad things on the other person. Stop comparing your life to others. The grass is not always greener. The very same person you are admiring, envious of or wishing you could be like, most likely has their own issues they are going through, as well.
#3 ENJOY LIFE NOW
Don’t put off anything while you wait for the “right time”. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. If there is something you want to do – do it now! Although I have done much in my life, I missed out on so much more in my earlier years because I either thought the time wasn’t right, I was waiting to do it with others, or for a number of other reasons. Once I realized that the best time to do anything is NOW and that I could have just as good of a time doing things by myself as I could with others, I started having amazing experiences and meeting amazing people. When an opportunity pops up, I jump on it – whether I do it with others or by myself. No one wants to look back at their life and say to themselves, “I wish I ____, but, I never did.”

#4 DO FOR OTHERS
Instead of waiting for others to do for you, do what you can for others. It doesn’t necessarily have to take any of your time or money. A simple smile or “Have a great day” may be enough to change someone’s mood or brighten their day. It is the most rewarding feeling to give joy and happiness to others; and, you’ll notice that the more of yourself that you give, the more you will want to give, and it will become as natural as breathing. If you know of someone who is in need of a helping hand and you are in the position to help with your time or money, then do so. Realize that if you were in the same situation, you would want someone to do the same for you.
#5 LIFE PRIORITIES
Focus more on what really matters in life – not the things which are considered by many to be the ‘symbols of a successful life’. Yes – it’s great to have certain material items; we all like nice things, but, don’t make that be the focus or the goal of your life, or expect ‘things’ to bring you happiness.  Happiness comes from within. There is so much in life to experience and enjoy and I’m positive that there are many people who have a lot of material possessions who are just as unfulfilled as those with much, much less. I’m sure you have heard the expression, “More money, more problems” lol….Also, ask yourself – and be honest – “If no one knew I had this, would I really care if I had it or not?” or, “Am I doing this for myself, or to impress others?” In the end, people matter, things don’t. I love beautiful things just as much as the next person, but, I’ve seen what some have done to attain them, how they’ve acted once they had them and how others have treated them because they had them. At times, I’ve wished we were all on ‘equal ground’ so that more people would realize the beauty of life without “things”.
#6 NEGATIVITY OUT, POSITIVITY IN
Get rid of negative people, things and thoughts. Surround yourself with only those people who bring out the best in you. Don’t let anyone change you or take away your joy. If you find yourself constantly upset, sad or stressed, make a serious effort to remove what puts you in that state. A life without drama is a life filled with peace. It puts a crack in my heart and it’s like a punch to the gut whenever I see someone unhappy. Many times they sabotage their own happiness because of a self-fulfilling prophesy (I’ll never be happy) or low self-esteem due to the negative influences in their life.  If this is you, see #1 – 5  🙂
#7 TRUST GOD
Over the years, there have been many ups and downs. At the time, the downs seemed like something I wouldn’t get over (lost opportunities, lost jobs, lost/fake friends, etc.). I began to notice that those “lost” things led me down a path to even better things.

I’m not sure when I came to the epiphany that if I just let God guide me and stop worrying, everything would always work out, but it has been 100% how I have lived my life for the entire 2011 and I think this has been the best year yet. It has been a year of peace, love and so much happiness. Things that I would have seen as an obstacle years ago, I now see as just a minor ‘speed bump” on the road of life and I keep on moving. I wish the same for everyone else in 2012 and the many, many years ahead.

If you chose to follow all, one or none of the above at least do one thing for yourself – strive to be a better person each year than you were the year before.

Peace and Love to all…and HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Silawn

WELCOME 2013

How to Have a Great 2012…and Beyond!


2011 was an amazing year. And, each year gets better. It’s a cliché, but there is much to the saying, “The older I get, the wiser I get.” I laugh these days about the things that I thought were such major concerns when I was in my teens, twenties and thirties. Who knew it really wasn’t as hard as everyone kept saying it was? Yes – we ALL go through ups and downs and we always will; but, it is easier to get through life and be happy than one might think.

Everyone is different, however, based on what I have lived through and the observations I have made of others, I have put together a general “How to enjoy life” list. Some things on the list may be harder for some than others to do, but, I know that the more you work them into your life, you will notice the more enjoyment you will get out of life.

#1 BE GRATEFUL
They are in no particular order, but #1 – without a doubt – is to acknowledge and be thankful for everything that you have been blessed with. I have noticed over the years that so many people have so much, and they either take it for granted or are completely oblivious to how much they truly have. Instead of being thankful for what they do have, they complain about what they do not have. One of my favorite quotes is “What if you woke up with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?” Think about that for a moment and then remember to always give thanks for what you have in your life.
#2 LIVE YOUR LIFE – NOT OTHERS
Focus on YOUR life and pay less attention to what others are doing. I’ve heard and seen it too many times; someone will see what another has, does or is, and either comment on how the other person should change (by what they should wear, who they should be with, etc.) or how they wish they could have, do, or be like them…or, even worse, wish bad things on the other person. Stop comparing your life to others. The grass is not always greener. The very same person you are admiring, envious of or wishing you could be like, most likely has their own issues they are going through, as well.
#3 ENJOY LIFE NOW
Don’t put off anything while you wait for the “right time”. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. If there is something you want to do – do it now! Although I have done much in my life, I missed out on so much more in my earlier years because I either thought the time wasn’t right, I was waiting to do it with others, or for a number of other reasons. Once I realized that the best time to do anything is NOW and that I could have just as good of a time doing things by myself as I could with others, I started having amazing experiences and meeting amazing people. When an opportunity pops up, I jump on it – whether I do it with others or by myself. No one wants to look back at their life and say to themselves, “I wish I ____, but, I never did.”

#4 DO FOR OTHERS
Instead of waiting for others to do for you, do what you can for others. It doesn’t necessarily have to take any of your time or money. A simple smile or “Have a great day” may be enough to change someone’s mood or brighten their day. It is the most rewarding feeling to give joy and happiness to others; and, you’ll notice that the more of yourself that you give, the more you will want to give, and it will become as natural as breathing. If you know of someone who is in need of a helping hand and you are in the position to help with your time or money, then do so. Realize that if you were in the same situation, you would want someone to do the same for you.
#5 LIFE PRIORITIES
Focus more on what really matters in life – not the things which are considered by many to be the ‘symbols of a successful life’. Yes – it’s great to have certain material items; we all like nice things, but, don’t make that be the focus or the goal of your life, or expect ‘things’ to bring you happiness.  Happiness comes from within. There is so much in life to experience and enjoy and I’m positive that there are many people who have a lot of material possessions who are just as unfulfilled as those with much, much less. I’m sure you have heard the expression, “More money, more problems” lol….Also, ask yourself – and be honest – “If no one knew I had this, would I really care if I had it or not?” or, “Am I doing this for myself, or to impress others?” In the end, people matter, things don’t. I love beautiful things just as much as the next person, but, I’ve seen what some have done to attain them, how they’ve acted once they had them and how others have treated them because they had them. At times, I’ve wished we were all on ‘equal ground’ so that more people would realize the beauty of life without “things”.
#6 NEGATIVITY OUT, POSITIVITY IN
Get rid of negative people, things and thoughts. Surround yourself with only those people who bring out the best in you. Don’t let anyone change you or take away your joy. If you find yourself constantly upset, sad or stressed, make a serious effort to remove what puts you in that state. A life without drama is a life filled with peace. It puts a crack in my heart and it’s like a punch to the gut whenever I see someone unhappy. Many times they sabotage their own happiness because of a self-fulfilling prophesy (I’ll never be happy) or low self-esteem due to the negative influences in their life.  If this is you, see #1 – 5  🙂
#7 TRUST GOD
Over the years, there have been many ups and downs. At the time, the downs seemed like something I wouldn’t get over (lost opportunities, lost jobs, lost/fake friends, etc.). I began to notice that those “lost” things led me down a path to even better things.

I’m not sure when I came to the epiphany that if I just let God guide me and stop worrying, everything would always work out, but it has been 100% how I have lived my life for the entire 2011 and I think this has been the best year yet. It has been a year of peace, love and so much happiness. Things that I would have seen as an obstacle years ago, I now see as just a minor ‘speed bump” on the road of life and I keep on moving. I wish the same for everyone else in 2012 and the many, many years ahead.

If you chose to follow all, one or none of the above at least do one thing for yourself – strive to be a better person each year than you were the year before.

Peace and Love to all…and HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Silawn